Vampire Thing Part 4

My arms look horrific now. I woke up in the morning, brushed my teeth and, standing naked in front of the mirror, it just hit me.

Two scars – fang scars, where that vampire bit my skin. I should have had her bite in a less notable place, like my legs or something.

But I like my legs and the scars just wouldn’t compliment the other scars I have, just like blue doesn’t go with green.

And this wouldn’t have been a problem if I had just killed her and been done with it all ready. Once I forgot my stake. Can you freaking believe that? Because I sure can’t.

That’s worse than bringing a knife to a gun fight, seriously.

So I just carry the stake where ever I go now, just so that I can get in the habit of it. People look at me funny at stores sometimes. I blink at them very slowly and pat it like it’s my friend. Because it really is. I’m pretty sure that one of these in the chest would hurt plenty even if the victim’s not a vampire.

I was at the movie theater the other day and heard a strange noise, a gulping, squelching sort of noise. But it was just a kid slurping his drink. I couldn’t concentrate on the movie after that – I couldn’t help but think of fanged-tooth-human-look-a-likes suckling at human necks in the dark.

I could picture it in my head. Vampires weren’t stupid. They’d mingle with the audience, find a seat nice and high and safely out of sight in the back. And when there was sufficient noise, when the characters spoke their lines and fired their guns and made hot passionate love, they’d sink their teeth into squishy neck, piercing the jugular. And maybe the victim would scream, but we wouldn’t be able to differentiate it from the other screams ripping from the silver stream. After they sucked the first person dry, they’d move on to the next chair, and then, finally, the next row. When a person got up to get more snacks, they’d slip on something but it wouldn’t coke – it’d be blood, and they’d never know it because who the hell looks down to make sure that slippery stuff they almost broke their neck over was a carbonated beverage instead of a vascular fluid?

My heart was just about to fall out of my mouth when the lights came back on as the credits rolled.

But everybody was alive. By alive, I mean they were stampeding towards the exit, while letting everybody in proximity know whether they liked the movie or not.

Usually I like to stay and watch the credits – sound track music, you know – but I couldn’t get the idea of vampires crawling under the seats towards me. That’s when the Jaws theme just sort of started to play in my head and so much for that quiet moment of zen all to myself.

Fraternizing with vampires is bad for the mental health. That’s all I have to say about that.

It didn’t help that a few hours later, I had to go and see the Vampire before she decided to get it in her head to come after me.

She wasn’t in front of the counter like she usually was. I found this vaguely disturbing, and kept expecting her to leap from behind the desk, claws hands outstretched, and I didn’t think she’d be saying boo.

I found her outside, in the back.

The sun was down so it wasn’t all that surprising.

There were a lot of flowers in the back, as if the vampires had found for themselves some kind of enthusiastic gardener whose whole life revolved around rare and exotic flowers. There were roses in petals I hadn’t ever seen before at the florist shop. Of course, what could you expect from a flower aisle in a grocery store?

Yeah, I thought so.

But it wasn’t just the roses, it was just…everything. I’d try to describe it, but I don’t know my flowers very well. Just think of the Beatles song about about girls with kaleidescope eyes and I think you’ll get the picture.

I did recognize the honeysuckle though, because I remember biting the flower and letting the nectar drip into my mouth when I was kid.

It’s what the Vampire was doing, actually. Except her name was Ivy this time.

“You’re here,” she said, smiling just enough to show her fangs.

“Yeah. Like the taste of the honeysuckles?” I asked.

“I didn’t notice the taste at first.” She popped the rest of the flower in her mouth and crunched down. “But now I can. Very faint.”

“Yeah…” It was crazy seeing a vampire eat a flower. Certainly what I wasn’t expecting.

“But it’s not enough,” Ivy said, looking at me.

She had the hunger glint in her eye, the look that practically made me want to run away screaming it looked so predatory. I stiffened. “What do you mean?”

“Their life. It’s insufficient. I am not one to stand still –” her hips began to sway — “and grow. I am done growing. And the sun? What plant lives thrives without the sun? Some even hide away their petaled faces when the sun goes away.” Ivy shook her head. “It is insufficient. Though peaceful, for a little while, but I was almost starting to get bored with the stillness before you came.”

I stared at her, eyebrow raised, wondering if she was joking. “You were trying to find a substitute for blood?”

A very long pause.

“Perhaps.”

“What made you think that going all herbivore would help?”

“They live and they die and when they are no longer pretty, people throw them away and they fall to the ground, and become one with the dirt. And when people die, they are put into a little box and buried in the ground. If the box is opened after a good long while, there’s no person anymore. Just dirt, just like the flowers.”

I still didn’t really see the correlation. Flowers weren’t anything similar to people and everybody and everything decomposed when they kicked the bucket. Maybe it was a vampire thing what with the dead brains and all.

I wondered vaguely if a zombie would eat a vampire but I figured it was kind of a pointless question.

I mean, zombies don’t exist.

…right?

“Let’s begin,” Ivy said, walking into the building.

“We could just do it out here,” I said. But I followed her anyway.

“We’ve always done it inside.”

“Is there a law or something?” I asked. “I want to be a rebel.”

“I have no habits, and wish to form one,” Ivy said, very patiently. “I’m sure I had some when I was still alive, but I don’t remember what they were. My goal is to acquire new ones. It’s a human trait I think.”

“Aren’t you technically still a human, though?”

Ivy chewed her lip so hard it began to bleed. “Does it count if you’re dead?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know. Did it matter? Sometimes people eat other people – cannibals and the like. But I didn’t think she was driving towards that kind of humanity so I didn’t mention it.

She started feeding once I settled myself in a nearby chair. It was kind of gross to watch. When you get your blood drawn it just neatly splashes into the the vial or bag or whatever it is the doc’s filling up.

But when a vampire gets her teeth into the vein – well, let’s just say it’s hardly neat, more like messy and stomach turning.

Ivy seemed to be alone in the building.

I should have killed her right then, I know.

It’s easy saying that you’re gonna kill something but then you actually come face to face with the intended victim, and it’s different because she has a face and mouth and words and she freaking tried eating plants to get the same feel of life.

Sometimes I think that she’s not killing me now…what could be the harm? But it can’t last. I see that gleam in her eyes, that hunger that consumes all her features and I’m terrified and I know that deep down, somewhere she wants to kill me – wants to taste deeply of my life, drain it all away.

But then she talks about habits like a normal person and I lose my nerve.

What soulless dead thing talks about habits, I ask you?

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